1 / 1grade this essay using the ACT grading system: It is no secret that today’s workforce no longer consists entirely of people. Rather, machines are being developed to complete many of the tasks which humans have traditionally done. This can greatly increase productivity and efficiency of simple, repetitive tasks. Many people view this as a great positive and point out that it leads to a more uniform and less expensive product which is better for everyone. However, some people are more wary of this popular trend of automating the workforce and question whether this progress is truely positive. Their concerns, though, are outweighed by the benefits these machines offer. It is the popular view among companies which are moving toward automation that robots can do many tasks better than humans. For example, in the automotive industry, most of a car’s individual components are manufactured by pre-programmed robots which have much greater and more precise output than would be possible for a human. In addition, robots cut down the cost of production by a considerable amount. If a company hires an employee to complete a simple task for $50,000 per year but could instead buy a machine for a one time purchase of $30,000, it is far more cost effective to buy the machine. Lower cost of production means that the goods produced can now be sold at a lower pricepoint which passes the savings on to the consumer. Companies producing goods rightly contend that the use of machines to complete low-skill jobs has only positive impact for everyone. Beyond these benefits for industry, some believe that machines will shape the future for the human race. Innovation and invention of new more intelligent machines can push us as humans toward new, unimagined possibilities. For example, before the first airplane was invented, people could only dream of human flight, but at the moment of takeoff, a whole new world of unimaginable possibilities was suddenly within our grasp. Through even just that one invention, an entire multi-billion dollar a year industry was born, and our lives improved and advanced in a multitude of ways. Who can know what great advancements may be brought about by a more intelligent machine than what we possess today? The possibilities are endless. There are those who are less enthusiastic about all this progress and advancement. They argue that by not having to interact with fellow humans, we no longer are required to be courteous and have tolerance for others. While this may be true, this is a minor cost for a major increase in efficiency. Take the example of self checkout systems in grocery stores. Self checkout permits consumers to procure their goods and get out of the store quickly. This might seem like a small time-saver, but considering how often this experience is repeated reveals a cumulative effect. Across time, consumers end up saving hours, which improves the efficiency of their daily lives, allowing them to spend time on things that are of greater interest and meaning to them. Whether humans like it or not, machines are becoming more and popular in the workplace and are decreasing the need for humans to work those jobs. This can lead to advancement of society, a greater end product or service, and even a lower consumer cost of goods. Many people are frightened of change, but unfortunately for them, the past is gone and now we must look to the future.
This essay would likely receive a score of around a 18 on the ACT Writing test. The writer has a clear and well-supported thesis, and the essay is well-organized and easy to follow. The writer uses specific examples, such as the automotive industry and self-checkout systems, to illustrate their points. The writer also acknowledges and addresses counterarguments, showing that they have considered multiple perspectives on the issue. The writing is clear and concise, with minimal grammatical errors. However, the writer could benefit from adding more nuanced ideas and a more sophisticated vocabulary to improve their score.
1 / 1give the writer feedback with how they can improve this essay
The writer has done a good job of presenting a clear and well-supported thesis, and the essay is well-organized and easy to follow. However, there are a few ways in which the essay could be improved:
The writer could benefit from adding more nuanced ideas and a more sophisticated vocabulary to make their arguments more compelling.
The writer could also provide more specific and detailed examples to support their thesis, this would help to make their points more convincing.
The writer could also benefit from exploring the potential downsides of automation more fully. While the writer acknowledges that some people have concerns about automation, they do not delve deeply into these issues.
The writer could also benefit from providing more context about the current situation, for example, what are the most common jobs that are being automated? What are the industries that are most affected by this trend?
The writer could also benefit from adding more transitional phrases to help guide the reader through the essay and make it more cohesive.
Finally, the writer should proofread the essay to catch any spelling or grammar errors that may have been overlooked.
Overall, the writer has done a good job of presenting a well-supported thesis, but they could benefit from exploring their ideas in more depth and providing more specific examples to strengthen their arguments.
1 / 1give the writer feedback with how they can improve this essay and provide examples and suggestions
The writer has done a good job of presenting a clear and well-supported thesis, and the essay is well-organized and easy to follow. However, there are a few ways in which the essay could be improved:
The writer could benefit from adding more nuanced ideas and a more sophisticated vocabulary to make their arguments more compelling. For example, instead of using the phrase "good for everyone" the writer could use "beneficial for society as a whole"
The writer could also provide more specific and detailed examples to support their thesis. For example, instead of just mentioning the "automotive industry" the writer could provide specific examples of how robots are being used in the industry and the benefits they bring in terms of precision and cost.
The writer could also benefit from exploring the potential downsides of automation more fully. For example, the writer could discuss how automation might lead to job losses and the impact that could have on communities and the economy.
The writer could also benefit from providing more context about the current situation. For example, what are the most common jobs that are being automated? What are the industries that are most affected by this trend?
The writer could also benefit from adding more transitional phrases to help guide the reader through the essay and make it more cohesive. For example, the writer could use phrases such as "on the other hand" or "however" to signal a shift in their argument.
Finally, the writer should proofread the essay to catch any spelling or grammar errors that may have been overlooked.
Overall, the writer has done a good job of presenting a well-supported thesis, but they could benefit from exploring their ideas in more depth, providing more specific examples, and giving more attention to the potential downsides of automation in order to strengthen their arguments.